Why Can't People Stay Friends?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement and Being Successful' started by Lucywu2012, Jul 27, 2010.

  1. Lucywu2012

    Lucywu2012
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    I got to know the other three girls fairly well. Occasionally we spent time socializing. We weren't "best friends" but I figured we were close enough to "stay" friends. Then I get laid off. Since then we've had one social outing which was about two/three months ago. Recently I tried to do another one and I got the cold shoulder. They all sounded like they were going to come and then started coming up with lame excuses last minute. Now when I call them, no one calls me back. What happened? Just because we no longer work together, why can't we enjoy each other's company? I suddenly feel like that "annoying girl" whom no one wants to associate with. It shouldn't bother me but it does. It hurts pretty bad. I really liked these people. I've always been nice to them. I'm always real with people. I don't like beating around the bush or playing games. I really cannot see what went wrong here and it hurts that they won't even talk to me. I don't even know why I care...now with my newer job I have some "friends" but I feel hurt from this past experience. It's effecting my view of new people I meet.
     
  2. Fergal

    Fergal
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    Sorry to hear that Lucywu2012, it sounds as if it was tough on you. People lead busy lives and unfortunately it's sometimes difficult to stay in touch with people we were friendly with before. These things happen and it doesn't mean that they don't like you or that they have anything against you, just that they are busy and feel that they don't have as much time to spend with you, now that you no longer work together. keep smiling and move on, enjoy your new job and your new friends and try not to take what happened to you personally. Stay active and keep busy and you will find that you will get over it with time.
     
  3. youngkia1

    youngkia1
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    Sad to hear that Lucywu2012, but here is the thing, if they did that to you it's just because they are not real friends. They are not for real. They just go along with you for company but not in the long run. Let's face it, in this chaotic world there are true and genuine friends but there are also a lot of fake. If i we're you don't mind them. Why you bother yourself where in they themselves not even care about you. Go on with the real one and left aside the fake one. Life is a beutiful struggle and don't waste your time with them. Ok? Anyway you still have other friends i know, so stick with them and treasure the real one. :)
     
  4. Lucywu2012

    Lucywu2012
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    Thanks a lot. You give me a lot and teach me how to face it and I believe that I will find a real friend one day!
     
  5. rebecca16

    rebecca16
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    that's right its better to move on, i think before finding a real friend for yourself you should become one.
     
  6. sarahbing

    sarahbing
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    Thats life I am afraid. People change and move on. In life you will gain and lose firneds all the time, even if you try your best to hold them. It's like natures process of de cluttering your life.
     
  7. Kay

    Kay
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    Lucywoo, I can sympathize having been made redundant myself years ago. I'll tell you what the most likely problem is: they feel awkward because they still have their jobs and you don't. Think about how the last outing went you did have. Did you spend the whole time talking about the layoff? You may not realize it, but that would have made them squirm. I'd bet money that was the reason, because you've not changed, have you?

    They're just embarrassed and don't know what you say to you that's not going to come out wrong and aren't comfortable discussing what's going on at work the way you all used to. Give them time to get over that and get back in touch later once you're settled in your new job and have something positive to talk about. When you're past being angry about the injustice of it all is a good yardstick to use about when to call them.

    And don't judge any new friends by that experience. We each just deal with things the best we can and your friends are doing that by having some breathing room.
     
  8. abagail678

    abagail678
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    In my opinion , Money is basic point that, people are not staying friends .
     
  9. GeeOne

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    I would like to add ego and superiority complex can also be the reason.

    G!

     
  10. shailagomez

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    I can also say that people have to come and go. There are people you treasure most are gone but I'll make it sure to you that there will be new people will come to your way that is better than before you had that can also treasure you. People change.
     

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