The Red Dot

Discussion in 'Self Improvement and Being Successful' started by Nazreen, Jun 22, 2008.

  1. Nazreen

    Nazreen
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    Take a piece of white paper and draw a red dot in the middle of it. When you show this to people, what will they see? Obviously, they'll see just a red dot. The Red Dot represents our mistakes. So people normally just see our mistakes. What they don't see is the white empty background which represents the good things or contributions that we've done.

    My point is we should see the good things about the person, or about what they've done rather than just focusing or zooming in on just the one mistake the he made. Sometimes companies just see that one little mistake that you made and out you go. They do not recognize the good contributions and suggestions that you've done for the betterment of the company.
     
  2. Fergal

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    In a similar vain I've heard it said that positive reinforcement of desired behaviour is much more effective than negative reinforcement of behaviour we don't want. In other words rewarding behaviour that we like is the most effective motivator of other people.
     
  3. Hurbel2k

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    I like Your mindset Nazreen.

    Have a nice day!
     
  4. Nazreen

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    I think that this does not apply just to humans but to animals too. Animal trainers usually use food to train dogs, dolphins and monkeys. Same thing can be applied to humans but instead of food, money is usually the instrument used as reward. :)

    Thanks Hendrik! Have a nice day too!
     
  5. TimeRider

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    I liked that Red Dot in the white paper thing Nazreen. People will focus on that red dot but not on the white background or paper. People will focus on your mistakes not on your contributions. You are right but sometimes you have to be focused on your mistakes, so you will not repeat your mistakes and improve yourself :)
     
  6. Fergal

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    I partly agree with this. However, the trick is not to focus on the mistake but to focus on the improvement or change of behaviour that you will make.

    Focusing on a mistake would suggest that you dwell on it and regret it, without positive results. I know that this is not what you meant, but I just wanted to point out how you can be positive rather than negative, when you have made a mistake.
     
  7. Nazreen

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    Yes I agree, we should definitely be looking into improving ourselves by learning from our mistakes.

    I actually got the "Red Dot" idea when going for a customer service course a couple of years back. The speaker took out a red marker and drew a red dot on an empty piece of paper and showed it to the whole group and asked what we saw. All of us saw just the red dot. He then explained that this is a reality of life and most people just see the flaws and mistakes.

    He also gave this very good example that most failed marriages that ended up in divorce is because people just focused on the red dot. The wife might complain that the husband snores and always stays late at work. The husband will then say that the wife likes to nag. By focusing on these flaws, the marriage will start a sharp turn for the worse. Yes, they should still work on these minor flaws and not ignore them completely but they should focus on why and how much they love each other in the first place.
     
  8. TimeRider

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    yeah Fergal, I know the idea about the white background and a red dot between But often people focus on that red dot. When you ask someone about it, they will say they see a red dot but not the white paper or background. People focus on the red dot. And so red dot should be removed. So they will say they can see a white paper or background. This is the idea. People will focus on the red dot more than the white paper because red dot is clear and seen then the white background.

    Knowing your mistakes and to improve it is also the way to be positive. So you would see the red dot ( mistakes ) and see the white background (contributions).
     
  9. DEADMAN

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    One thing we all should know.

    Good facts spreads to everybody with delays while bad facts spreads to everybody in seconds!

    What I mean is that good facts about company, person or anything would communicate to people's ear very slowly and even they become communicated, people don't notice too much and remember them too much.

    Whenever a bad fact is communicated, it spreads so quickly that nobody can think up how quickly it reached to the far places. And people keep on talking about it for weeks even months and if more years if the problem is still continuing on bad facts.

    So, what point I'm making is that People should changed their mentality. But what can one do when people are these types. Education is must to improve them but we see educated person also do this.
     
    #9 DEADMAN, Jun 25, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2008
  10. JPolito830

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    I agree with you Deadman...most people look into the negative of everything, and dont really talk about or acknowledge the positives. I think everyone needs to focus on the good of things.
     
  11. Nazreen

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    I think that these behaviors can be attributed to our upbringing. When we were children, we often see our parents and close relatives criticizing other people and pointing out their flaws and mistakes. When we grew up, we also developed the same bad behaviors that we saw in them. Well, I believe that it's not too late and we can still change these bad behaviors and bad habits in ourselves. Whenever we feel the need to criticize others and point out their mistakes, why don't we correct and tell ourselves to see the good in people instead?
     
  12. Fergal

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    This thread reminds me of the old adage - if you have nothing good to say, say nothing. Sounds like a good motto but difficult to implement. I do try not to speak ill or even think negatively of other people but it can be difficult to achieve this every day.
     
  13. TimeRider

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    Yeah Fergal. I too try to say nothing when I feel like there is no importance of speaking at that moment. However, Also not trying to speak ill or even think negatively of other people is difficult to do because the words come from your mouth in some expressions and you also think negatively sometimes and it's not possible to stop thinking.
     
  14. Nazreen

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    Yes it is difficult if you try to make an abrupt change to stop thinking negatively about other people but I think that if we regularly correct ourselves, there would come a time where we would no longer do this bad habit.

    We can also apply the "result and consequence" way of disciplining ourselves. I've read of a certain doctor who disciplined his children by using this method. Whenever his kids do something wrong or forget to do something, there would always be a consequence or some sort of punishment. This punishment doesn't have to be too severe though and must be commensurate to the mistake done.

    There was one time where they went to a restaurant and the doctor forgot to use his table napkin. He then stood up and went to stand at the foyer for a couple of minutes while his family started eating. This was the punishment for his kids if they forgot to use their table napkins. :)
     
  15. Fergal

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    It's probably even more important to try and stop thinking negatively. Negative thoughts are not good for your mental or physical health.
     
  16. Nazreen

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    Focus on Mistakes

    Contrary to what is stressed in this thread on not focusing on the red dot or dots, many businesses actually focus on the mistakes of their competition and exploit this to their advantage. These are all marketing tactics not just in business but also in politics.

    A very popular topic right now is the coming US Presidential Elections with both sides painting a very beautiful picture of themselves and at the same time criticizing their opponents at every opportunity. They even have advisers and writers with fancy titles who's main job is to find mistakes of their opponents that they can exploit.
     
  17. Fergal

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    Very interesting point Nazreen, focusing on and publicising the mistakes of the opposition happens all the time in politics. Businesses will also analyse their competitors' products / services for weak points, to see how they can do it better themselves.

    However, not many businesses will mention the name of their competitors in their marketing materials. That would be a very risky approach because you are effectively paying to promote the name of your competitor.

    One way that sales people do this subtly, is giving potential customers a list of questions to ask all suppliers. When they know about a competitor's weakness they will include a question that will uncover this weakness. For example, suggesting to potential customers that they should ask all suppliers if they provide 24 hour support, when they know that their main competitor only provides support during business hours.
     

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