Please give suggestions on improving copy for advertising offer!

Discussion in 'Internet Marketing' started by Fergal, Mar 29, 2010.

  1. Fergal

    Fergal
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    I've recently posted a thread offering to sell banner ad slots here on Business Advice Forum, copy of the thread posted below. I'd welcome any suggestions you have for improving the text / copy writing of this ad. I feel that the ad needs more details, perhaps some info as to how we have a very high quality and active community. Any feedback would be appreciated.

    Thanks!

     
  2. Lingua21

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    Hi Fergal,

    On the whole I would say that you have most things covered there.

    You could put an emphasis on the fact that it contains an easily accessed oasis/hub of business knowledge and that it is carefully monitored resulting in a extremley low level of spam.

    Your Alexa rank is very impressive but you may want to mention some of the actual terms that you rank highly for.

    Cheers - Mike Dove
     
  3. Fergal

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    Thanks a lot for the suggestions Mike, I will take those on board when updating the ad.

    Anyone else?
     
  4. scifi

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    hmm.. well Fergal advertisement is very informative .it is a good sign... But to be honest and frank..it lacks an impressive structure which can communicate clearly to your target audience in an authenticate manner that can help you get the desired results...

    Yeah ,,,..u can refer to the style of newspaper adds to get an idea how they advertise to get advertisement for their newspaper....it will give you an idea about the same which you can customize accordingly...:)
     
  5. Fergal

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    Thanks a lot for that, that is exactly the type of feedback I want. Can you please give some specific suggestions as to how I can improve it?
     
  6. Tecknowoman

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    Create a hook that ties into the pain of the person you are trying to get to advertise, work out what the benefits are and don't be afraid to actually sell them in a more personalised way so my really quick eg would be

    "Thanks for your interest in advertising (depending how the query came to me or I was going out for it).

    Is your business losing its audience online? (or missing its target)
    What would a presence in a highly targeted and motivated audience mean for your business?
    What would daily access to your own forum of rich prospects for your business be worth to you?

    Business advice forum can give you exactly that for only $XX...

    Every day people in business wanting advice, seeking to start businesses, or successful and wanting to help others - visit Business Advice forum.

    Your ad will be running in a page one ranking site about business advice with the highly targeted audience your business craves for.

    Add Bullet point benefits:

    Do you want to continue to feel like you are in a constant battle with white noise online, unable to be found among the competition because customers are overwhelmed....

    Or do you want to tap into our forum of pre-qualified, targeted, leads interested coming in search of the advice and services your business can provide."


    or something like that but it is 5am and I only spent about 10min on it so.....


    Thank you for your interest in advertising on Business Advice Forum. We are ranked on the first page of Google for many search terms related to business and business advice and have an Alexa Rank of less than 42,000.

    Business Advice Forum receives an average of over 36,000 hits and circa 900 visits per day from people interested in managing, promoting or starting their own business.

    Paid advertising options include banner ads in the site header, footer or sidebar. Additionally you can advertise for free in our Free Advertising Forums and in your signature.
     
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  7. Fergal

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    Tecknowoman, thanks very much for that, you're great and those suggestions really are very helpful. I will go through them later and update the ad accordingly.
     
  8. Tecknowoman

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    I seem to have a bit of a knack for sales copy stuff so if you need any help feel free to post or PM
     
  9. scifi

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    As far as I think, it should be somewhat like this---

    WELCOME 2 BAF!!

    Quick Stats abt. BAF
    ....
    Increase your business prospects and magnify your desired results...
    We are here...Where are you????

    it should be somewhat like this and SO on.....I think you got the idea Fergal...:)
     
  10. Fergal

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    Tecknowoman, I've updated the ad based on your excellent suggestions (thanks a lot for that). What do you think now? Does it need any improvement?

     
  11. Kay

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    Can I chime in here? I think that's very good the way you have it so far. I'd omit the last line about being able to advertise for free in your sig and on the forum, because if I'm interested enough to read that far down, I'm most likely willing to pay. If you give me a free option to get exposure on a site with such great stats, am I going to choose that instead of paying for banner ads? Hmmm, maybe, maybe not. But I think that's shooting yourself in the foot a little, Fergal.

    Instead give an incentive such as an extra week/month of banner ads free (you can always make it conditional upon them advertising for an extended period of your choosing - buy 12 months, get 13), or maybe a bonus number of impressions - pay for 10,000, get 11,000 at no extra charge, a 10% bonus! - if they sign up in the month of April or whatever. You can change your post anytime to reflect the current offer. If you do so monthly or quarterly even, I think you'd get more eyeballs checking back to see what the current deal is. Alternatively leave a teaser line saying you'll inform them of that when they get in touch, i think the more direct approach would work better eg "Contact Us today to reserve your premium advertising position. As a thank you, you'll get our special April bonus of an extra week/x number of impressions - free!"

    I'd also consider adding in a "starting at... (price)" for the rates. Personally I wouldn't get in touch if I didn't have even an inkling of what the rates began at but I know not everyone thinks as I do. When I don't see a starting rate, I decide in my mind it's already too expensive for my pocket. Giving a "starting at" rather than a set rate lets you retain flexibility too.

    Hope that helps. :) Take it or leave it as you wish.
     
    #11 Kay, Apr 16, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2010
  12. Fergal

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    Kay, thanks a lot for your excellent suggestions. I've taken your advice and changed the last paragraph of the ad to the following;

    The full ad can be viewed here.
     
  13. Kay

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    You're very welcome Fergal. Glad that was of some use to you. I think the ad's excellent and if I wasn't so cheap I'd buy some. :heehee:

    On a side note: I don't know where you were planning to advertise but you may want to look into buysellads. I've heard good things about them from a client that was using the service.
     
  14. Fergal

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    Thanks for recommending BuySellAds Kay, I have an account with them. However, I've sold a lot more ads from people contacting me directly through here on Business Advice Forum, than what I sold with them. Hence, I've deactivated my ad slot with them.
     

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