Help with welcome text of home page

Discussion in 'Website Development & Design' started by antonclovelly, May 13, 2010.

  1. antonclovelly

    antonclovelly
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    I wish to have some knowledge on this area as I am completely new to this type of a forum.

    The keywords that the SEO offered for my website were not pertinent to my products and were extremely shocking so I have requested for a new set of keywords on which the SEO can optimize my website.

    I requested for the following keywords

    Children's Birthday Party Decorations,
    Anniversary Party Decorations,
    Wedding Decorations,
    Christening Decorations,
    Birthday Party,
    Wedding Reception,
    Balloons,
    Hen night party accessories,
    Table Decorations,
    My welcome text has been modified by the designer by keeping all keywords bolded as following
    The home of wedding, birthday & party decorations!
    The fun is about to begin...Whatever the occasion, we have a fantastic selection of
    wedding & party decorations
    plus thousands of celebration and party decorations. Not to mention loads of great ideas to help you party in style! We’re sure that at 'xxxxx' you’ll find lots of inspiration, and everything you need to get the party started. We've got a great range of party decorations including:
    children's birthday party decorations, anniversary party decorations, wedding decorations, christening decorations, birthday party banners, wedding reception ideas, balloons, hen night party accessories and table decorations
    Adding to the fact that this text is not sensible, the bold format has made it look terrible. Is this really important?

    Additionally based on the keywords I selected, I am not sure that it would be possible but I desire to use the following text:

    The home of birthday, wedding & party decorations!
    The fun is about to begin...Whatever the occasion, we have a fantastic selection of wedding & party decorations, not to mention loads of great ideas to help you party in style!

    We’re sure that at 'xxxxx' you’ll find lots of inspiration and everything you need to get the party started. Our Party range includes decorations and accessories for milestone birthdays, children’s birthdays, anniversary parties, wedding, christening and your hen night party.
    Will I be able to get this as the welcome text on my Home page?
     
  2. Fergal

    Fergal
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    antonclovelly would you mind sharing the link of the site, where you will be using this text?

    What is the objective of the text - is it to sell products, generate appointments, gather leads, etc?
     
  3. seanstevens

    seanstevens
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    Personally I would say if in doubt speak to a copywriter.

    You need your homepage to appeal to your audience. If the text looks bad then people may well find your page but would not stay to find out more.
     

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