Had to leave my job, feeling overwhealmed:(

Discussion in 'Self Improvement and Being Successful' started by jelie3110, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. jelie3110

    jelie3110
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    Yesterday I did something I did something I swore I'd never do, I left my job.
    After working for the same company for eleven years, thing really came to a head in a very ugly way. My feelings are hurt, I feel that I was treated very poorly by a man who I have dedicated my professional and somtimes private ( coming in when he needed me on weekends) life to for so long. My question is now, what will I do about references? I know that he will not give me a good one because of how things have been lately. I have listened in to many calls about references for previous employees and he always finds a sneaky way of saying their performance was bad, without saying it in so many words. Not sure what to do, would appreciate some input:)
     
  2. Fergal

    Fergal
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    That sounds very tough on you jelie3110 and I'm sorry to hear that has happened to you. Is the person who mistreated you the owner of the business? I ask because perhaps it might be possible for you to get a reference from someone else in the business, e.g. another manager or the owner, if the owner is a different person. Is that a possibility in these circumstances?

    Failing that, it might help to let things cool down for a few days and then approach this guy again and ask for a reference. Hopefully he will view you in terms of the contribution you made to the business during all your years there and not just in terms of his feelings in recent times. Do you think that there is any chance of that happening?

    Approximately how many years did you work there?
     
  3. Gary Barzel

    Gary Barzel
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    I'm sorry about your predicament Jellie3110. I noticed your post yesterday, that there was no more room for growth in your current position so hopefully this will lead to a better future and potential for you. Fergal is right, you don't have to limit yourself to getting a reference from your boss only. You can turn to supervisors and co-workers to attest on your behalf of the quality of your work performance. You mentioned that you have an extensive background in dental sales. Perhaps you can turn to clients and business associates that you acquired during your term there for some references as well.

    If you have gained enough contacts over the years, and with your experience and background, this might the right time for you to start off on your own.
     
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  4. Fergal

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    That's an excellent idea, you could consider becoming an independent agent for products or services that are sold to dentists.

    Another excellent idea, it could mean the difference between having a reference from your most recent employment and not having one.
     
  5. jelie3110

    jelie3110
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    Thank you all for your responses:) Since my last post a whole lot has happened. My boss called and apologized, he said he can't keep his business going withour me and wants me to come back. I told him the only way I will be back is if my coworker( the source of my troubles with my boss) is if terminated and I get a nice raise. We are supposed to speak again today. I have also been offered two consulting jobs, one by a dentist and the other by a chiropractor. I would love to do consulting, but being in business for myself scares me a little. I have never done anything like that before, I am confident in my abilities but the business end of it scares me. I wouldn't know where to start, but I do have to admit that it sounds very tempting. When I am speaking to someone about how to better their business, I truly feel home. The words just come out. I gave the dentist some free advice on what to do to create a better working environment for her employees by implementing a profit sharing system. A concept that seems so simple is something she never thought about before, she said "dental offices have profit sharing systems?" I said "yes, the ones that want to be successful do".
    So here I am, with the consulting carrot dangling in my face and my employer begging me to come back. What's a girl to do?
     
  6. DaveB

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    go on a holiday . you deserve it. in the meantime you seem to suggest that you might wanna go into consulting. interesting
     
  7. Fergal

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    I'm delighted to hear that good news jelie3110, things are definitely looking up for you. Hopefully your conversation with your previous boss will go well.

    Don't worry about the business side of setting up your own consultancy service, there is an easy solution to that. Accountants have the expertise to do all of that for you, allowing you to focus on your core business of providing consultancy services. Perhaps you have an accountant already that you can speak to or perhaps a friend or relative can recommend one to you. A good accountant will save you money and a lot of time in the long run and will prove to be a very valuable contact for your business. Many accountants will offer a first consultation free of charge and you could get a lot of good advice and reassurance from that consultation alone, hence it's well worth having a chat with one.

    Obviously the above assumes that you go the consultancy route, either way good luck with it and please post back with an update.
     
  8. freelancemom

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    Congratulations on taking control! You deserve to be paid what you're worth and to be treated well.
     
  9. jelie3110

    jelie3110
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    *update* My boss sent me an e-mail last night and told me he is not willing to meet my demands. I have to say that somehow I feel a little relieved, my ability advance there is pretty much nonexistant. I have some serious soul searching to do on where to go from here. I will keep you all posted.
     
  10. catalystcoach

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    I agree with Fergal, you really need to try and connect with this person to acquire a decent reference. I know that when I do my hiring, if I hear that someone left a job because they couldn't get along with their supervisor (especially after being employed for 11 years), I usually will consider another candidate. It isn't fair, but unfortunately it is a reality because most employers want employees who have a proven track record of being manageable and being able to get along with others (especially their supervisors). If you do go on interviews, do not mention that you couldn't get along with your supervisor. Maybe just say that you felt you needed a change. And really try (even if it takes swallowing all of your pride) to get a good reference.

    In the future, (just my two-cent's worth) don't let "them" win by just up and quitting. By you leaving, this supervisor/boss/whatever has essentially won, as you have bowed out. Good luck to you!
     
  11. Fergal

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    jelie3110 have you considered discussing your situation with a legal advisor? This is not normally something I would recommend, but you say that things "came to a head in a very ugly way" if you have been treated unfairly it is an option worth considering.
     
  12. freelancemom

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    Talk to some colleagues (past and future) and get some letters of recommendation. You'll be fine. Also, get yourself on LinkedIn and network with every professional you know.

    I had a client who was our meat and potatoes for over 5 years. My invoices to him paid our mortgage and I felt comfortable with that. As time went on he had money trouble and his payments became inconsistent. It caused us to go into considerable credit card debt. I put up with this for well over a year, I think not having the confidence I could find something as good.

    Eventually I simply had to move on. As a result our income has tripled (maybe more, really) with shorter work days for me. I'm not sure what it is about us that keeps us from believing in ourselves.

    I'm sure this will end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. Celebrate!
     
  13. jelie3110

    jelie3110
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    Thank you freelancemom, I think we all sort of settle in to our situation and in doing so we could be missing out on wonderful opportunities. It sounds like you have a great company. I feel like something great is coming, I feel that this move is what really is the best for me.
    Cheers
    Jen
     
  14. freelancemom

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    I can't wait to see how it turns out for you Jen. Keep in touch.
     
  15. jelie3110

    jelie3110
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    Fergal, I have thought of that but I feel like I just want to leave it behind me. I had thought many times about leaving my job before this situation, as I said before, I just didn't feel like I could grow and develop further there. I feel like I have so much to offer and I am eager to work for someone who can utilize all that I have to offer. I look at this as an opportunity, as hurtful as it may have been at the time. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? I have been a busy bee all day today, sending my resume, speaking to several companies that might be interested in marketing my husbands invention, after all marketing is what I love to do. And who better market for than my own husband, he is truly a jewel and deserves all the success that he has coming to him( and I know it's coming, I can beel it in my bones LOL). Thank you all for cheering me on as I enter a new phase of my life:)
     
  16. Fergal

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    Well done Jen, I'm delighted to hear that you are putting the situation behind you and that you are moving onwards and upwards. It sounds as if everything is going well for you. What happened was just a bump in the road and as one door closed more doors of opportunity have opened for you. I look forward to hearing what you decide to do in the future and I wish you the very best of luck with it.
     

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