Doe's Self - Help really works?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement and Being Successful' started by Mike Yanek, Mar 26, 2013.

  1. Mike Yanek

    Mike Yanek
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    Obviously I cannot bash the Self - Help industry because I'm a part of it I guess :D :D

    Do you think that self - help books, seminars, movies and all kind of related stuff really works?

    Here's how I feel about it (and I'm being dead honest here)

    Self - Help works only if you work on it, self - help material give you the knowledge witch is 1% in the case and the rest of 99% it's all you, you need to make it work by actually doing something.


    What do you think? :)

    p.s - sorry for the spelling in the headline
     
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  2. TimeRider

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    First, I think anyone needs to have interest about that particular work. Second, he needs to be dedicated. It's not like you leave work saying "Let's see it tomorrow". May be Books can be helpful, I would say Guide Books. Less Talk and More work is the key. We should do things ourselves rather expecting someone to do it.
     
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  3. scifi

    scifi
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    frankly speaking self help book is all trash...

    It can put to little use only if have started something new and stucked in between..it can act as a guide for you only..not much help can be expected...
     
  4. lynxus

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    Oddly self help IMO only works for people who want to help themselves...
    Why do they need help to help themselves? Not sure..

    maybe it because they simply dont know how to? maybe they need some subtle encouragement? Maybe just knowing that they are following a plan gives them some morale support?
     
  5. TimeRider

    TimeRider
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    I don't think Self Help Books are trash. At least, you get the basic knowledge. It may be not of much help but it can help you get started. But thing is you have to do research and explore ways.

    scifi: But I think it's your personal opinion. May be it didn't help you.
     
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  6. Mike Yanek

    Mike Yanek
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    scifi: frankly speaking self help book is all trash...

    In my opinion I don't think it's all trash, but yes it's a starting guideline (like everyone pointed out) and nothing more.
    Don't expect that if you read a book and you will become a millionaire simply because you read this book.
    And unfortunately some people get in to self-help with that mentality and get disappointed after some time, because they are not putting the work in and expect everything written in the book to happen.

    I really appreciate all of the opinions in this tread, thanks :)
     
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  7. Fergal

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    It's a good question and honestly I don't know the answer. I've known some very successful people who have never read self-help books. I've read some of them myself and feel that I have learned some very important lessons from them, e.g. to concentrate on what's important rather than what's urgent. I sometimes wonder if my life would be any better or worse if I never read a self help book.
     
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  8. TimeRider

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    Fergal: You have learned to live your life on your own. I don't think you really need a book which could aware you from worse situations. But I think you have been learning from your experiences and testing yourself how far you can go.
     
  9. Biz

    Biz
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    I think one problem with many self-help books and other motivational methods is, they tend to focus on getting people "excited" while at it, but lack of sufficient, if at all, follow up to solidify the learning and implementation.
     
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  10. Leejeong

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    You know guys. What's really important on self-help books is the experience of the authors. sometimes it is more than a guide to the readers because it teaches us what are dos and donts. BUT you really cant heavily rely on those. Its a GUIDE, what written is tested and maybe proven.
     
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  11. TimeRider

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    I think the point is you step outside your home and face the world. Then you have to deal with many things that will teach you lessons for life. But you need to be prepared and a Guide Book can be useful in that case so you don't make simple mistakes.
     
  12. Fergal

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    One thing I noticed about self-help authors is that they have mostly succeeded in the self-help industry. I would like to see more people who have had huge success in other businesses, politics, sport or any other field, write self-help type books.
     
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  13. scifi

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    Ok guys...May be I was too harsh to say " frankly speaking self help book is all trash"......lloollss:D

    but my bold point was that as mike has also pointed out that you can not dream of becoming computer expert by reading a self help book with fancy title like " Computer for dummies'......

    there is no single example that can be cited that some one has helped himself by simply reading a self help book...you have to go beyond these self help books and do some real good hardwork to help yourself......
     
  14. Mike Yanek

    Mike Yanek
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    Nailed it ;) :)
     
  15. Ted

    Ted
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    Imagine two men.

    The First Man
    The first man is a regular guy who grew up in a middle class home who has a pretty normal life. He has a decent job that allows him to provide a decent living standard for himself. This guy is relatively content with his life, yet he yearns for something more. He always wished he could make something more of himself and maybe become a great entrepreneur one day.

    One day he hears about this self help book that offers a man the tools to become a great businessman like Carnegie, Vanderbilt, Rockefeller and the other Robber Barons from the United States back in the early 1900’s. So, he reads the book with great enthusiasm. It gives him more optimism than he has ever had before. That optimism lasts for a couple of months before slowly fading. The idea of being a wealthy business owner is seductive, but yet the man continues doing what he has always done to get by in life. (most of us are probably like this guy)

    The Second Man
    The second man came from a different background. This man grew up in a really poor household. His father died when he was relatively young. His mother struggled to earn enough money to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Sometimes his mom had to choose between paying the rent or buying groceries. So, this guy knew what it was like to suffer.

    This man promised himself that he was going to make something of his life so that he never had to live like that again. He promised himself that he would never be poor. Some day he would take care of himself and his mom so that they never had to go through that again.

    When he was in his early twenties still finding his way in life, he came across this same self help book that the first guy read. The difference between him and the first guy is that this guy really wanted the change to happen in his life. He was highly motivated to learn how to change his life. He refused to be poor any longer.

    So, when he read the book, he read it as if it was as important as the Holy Bible. He took the author’s advice to heart. He read the book again and again and again until the covers were well worn and the book’s binding was beginning to fall apart. And this man applied the lessons of that book to his life. And guess what happened?

    His life changed. He became a great businessman who was well connected and well respected in the business world. Everyone was dazzled, amazed, impressed and inspired by this man’s rags to riches story.

    Moral of the story
    I have come to the conclusion that the self help books are only slightly beneficial to the vast majority of us.

    The reason they are only slightly beneficial is because we don’t desire changing our lives as much as that kid who grew up in that poor home. We aren't as motivated as he was.

    If you were as motivated as he was then you would be more inclined to actually make the changes in your life that is suggested by the self help book. And that is where the big benefit comes from. It only comes if you are willing to change your life. Most people aren't willing enough.

    So, to the average man, these books provide nothing more than a short term boost in momentum and ambition. Then you just go back to your old ways and habits because that is what you are comfortable with.

    If your life is destined to change because you want it to change badly enough, then a good self help book can certainly help you accomplish that. If your desire to change is only mediocre at best, then the likelihood of that change occurring is very, very small; close to zero probably.
     
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  16. Fergal

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    Great explanation Ted. How do you think "The Second Man" in your post would have done without the self-help books? In other words do the books really help him or could he have done it all the same without the books?
     
  17. Ted

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    I think that if the motivation and will is strong enough then the person will find a way to make it happen through whatever means he has available to him. So I believe that, yes, the second man would probably have achieved his goals anyway. It wasn't the book itself that allowed him to achieve greatness. It was his own desire to achieve that outcome. The self help book was just a tool that he used to help him get where he wanted to go.

    Maybe he would have found a mentor. Maybe he would have met someone who ended up being a business partner and they achieved greatness together. Maybe he would have climbed the corporate ladder at a major company. Maybe he would have helped a new startup company go from nothing to a billion dollar a year company. Maybe he would have joined a mastermind group that gave him the guidance he needed. Maybe he would have just figured out how to achieve greatness after doing a lot of soul searching. Maybe there is some other way. Who knows........
     
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  18. Fergal

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    I agree Ted, thanks for that. My view has always been that if someone has the willingness and ability to succeed, that they will find a way.
     
  19. sheepishwolf

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    I enjoy reading self help books in my spare time, because I feel that they really do help me. They don't help if I go into them doubting that they will, but when I begin reading them with an optimistic view on them I usually do end up getting something out of them. I often read ones that focus on managing stress and anxiety in life and tips for living a more peaceful life. I usually stop at the library a few times a week to check out some new ones.
     
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  20. scifi

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    Great one ted...very inspiration story...it reminded me of something....

    Keep that fire is you burning and alive..children have that but as they grow it starts getting fade and eventually extinguishes slowly...

    Art is to keep that fire alive......
     

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