Do you find it easy to ask for help or advice from contacts?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement and Being Successful' started by Kay, May 21, 2010.

  1. Kay

    Kay
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    I wondered about this today. I shared a guest article, Getting Connected: Building Bridges for Results, at my site. It's by Rebecca Shambaugh, author of Leadership Secrets of Hillary Clinton. One of the things it talks about is being able to ask for help.

    She goes on to give the example of what Anne Mulcahy did when asked to take on the CEO role at Xerox.

    How easy do you find it to ask for help and opinions or advice from contacts? I'm not great at it. I'm always happy to do what I can for someone else too time permitting but don't like feeling that I'm intruding on anyone else's time or even perhaps overstepping the mark.

    That's why being able to come to Business Advice Forum is great. :) I feel more comfortable posting a question and hoping the person or person(s) answers it than approaching them directly.

    I think a lot of that has to do with my not liking pushiness or people that bleed you dry if you give them the tiniest "in". Which bring up another question. What makes a contact one that you feel you can approach directly? How do you avoid turning into a leech? Here's an example of how not to behave from my own experience of being asked for help.

    Talking to me once doesn't mean you can tie up every spare minute I have for two weeks solid. Neither can you badger me to look at your stuff when I don't get back to you on your timetable (not mine), send me more without asking and then get pissed off when I say I simply don't have the time nor the inclination to analyze everything you put on paper. If she's stopped after I'd looked at one small piece as I'd promised, we'd probably still be talking but she got on her huffy bike. No loss. It wasn't like I was being paid LOL. I never even got a thank you. That did sour things for me because I was trying to do someone a good turn. And luckily no-one else approached me soon after that because I would probably have said no.

    Anyway, I digress as usual. Please share your thoughts. :) Maybe we need some kind of contact etiquette guidelines laid down.
     
    #1 Kay, May 21, 2010
    Last edited: May 21, 2010
  2. Fergal

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    That's a great article on your blog Kay, I particularly like the concept of having your own personal board of directors and many people setting up a new business have a group of people that they can approach for advice.

    I have to admit that this is an area where I have been weak. I'm not good at asking for favours or help when I need it. The strange thing is that, provided you don't take advantage, most people are happy to help out or do you a favour. They don't see it as an imposition and they certainly don't think less of you because you ask, in fact they will often respect and like you more, because you took the time to speak to them and solicit their help.

    This is an area where I'm personally trying to improve and as time goes on, I ask for feedback and advice more and more. One thing that makes this easier, is always doing your best to help others, if you have helped someone in the past, it is much easier to ask them for assistance, when you need it. Continuously asking yourself and others "what can I do to help?" is a great start.

    Off-Topic - Kay, adding Tweet This buttons on your blog, would make it much easier to Tweet links to your articles :)
     
  3. Kay

    Kay
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    Very good point about how helping others yourself making it easier to ask. I think I've just never been good at asking for help. Even as a youngster I wasn't. I hadn't thought of it that way though. Thanks for that.

    On the Tweets, Fergal - my site's set up to Tweet new blog posts automatically. As soon as I publish it, it Tweets it. Otherwise it would never happen LOL. :) If you scroll to the bottom right of any page, you'll see my Twitter feed. Do you think I still need that button too? The button under Social Networks in the sidebar goes straight to my Twitter page as well.
     
  4. Fergal

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    I think it would help. Putting the button there in front of people, when they read the post, means that they can tweet about it with just one click. You can see how dotDavid does it, at this blog post.
     
  5. GekiDan

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    Well, this is also one of the hardest thing to do for me. Asking for advices on friends and online forums makes it much easier since lots of people interact with each other and this is one of the best places to ask for advices.

    I think what Fergal points out is that if you put a "Tweet this" button on your site, readers/visitors can easily tweet your article on their own Twitter account.
     
  6. Kay

    Kay
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    Thanks! I'll have a look at that later.

    Okay, I'm not good with Twitter so forgive me if this is a dumb question. I'll go ahead and add the button once I figure it out for the sake of easiness, but couldn't they just ReTweet the Tweet that I already did? My Twitter link's there in the sidebar under social networks. I can see how that wouldn't be as easy of course. I'm just asking if that would work.

    Hrmphhh. Twitter's for the birds.... :p :D

    And guys, I would be more than willing to help you both anytime I can because I see how much you give of yourselves here. If I miss a particular thread you'd like me to answer or want to ask an opinion on something privately, PM me anytime. I'll do my best to help. :)
     
  7. rebecca16

    rebecca16
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    Kay i can completely relate to you.even i find it hard to ask for help or an advise.even if i some how do it once ,next time i am a bit hesitant.but yes if some body seeks my help or advise then i am a little lesser hesitant in seeking that person's help or advise.
     
  8. GekiDan

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    I don't know. There are other people who more like to click on a single link than copy the same tweet from other's Twitter. That's only what I think.
     
  9. Kay

    Kay
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    Glad it's not just me, rebecca. Do you have any ideas about why you are like that? I think a lot of mine is because of my dad. He taught us all to be independent. Maybe too independent, I'm thinking now! And my offer of help stands for you and everyone else here, just so you know. :)

    Thanks, I appreciate the input. I have a confession. I just noticed yesterday I have a whole row of Share buttons for Digg, Twitter, Reddit, etc at the bottom of every post. I completely forgot about them, ha! One of those times when you look at something so much you no longer see it. :eek:
     

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