5 Stages of Loss

Discussion in 'Self Improvement and Being Successful' started by Nazreen, Nov 29, 2008.

  1. Nazreen

    Nazreen
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,727
    Likes Received:
    40
    I was reading up on psychology a couple of days back and it mentioned that there are 5 stages of loss. These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

    I think that most of you are already aware of this but may not have considered it in the context of Business. I know that a loss of a life especially of a loved one would have more impact, but the stages are the same with the loss or failure in a business.

    1. Denial - Because of our extreme optimism, it's hard for us to digest the fact that we're wrong. We start to think that maybe this failure is just a temporary thing and seek other's opinions that will confirm this fact and deny all those that are contrary to our belief. Another reason for our denial is our ego. The bigger our ego, the harder it is for us to accept that we're wrong.
    2. Anger - Once we run out of reasons to deny that we're wrong, we become angry. This is where we start to blame other people and everything that we think might have caused our business to fail. We'll say that our competition are playing dirty. We blame the falling market, a telephone call that broke our concentration, our kid who spilled milk or even our dogs who wanted to be walked outside.
    3. Bargaining - After being angry, we realize that we're not getting anywhere by being angry at the entire world and then decide that we might do better by being nicer. We then make a compromise and bargain with ourselves or even pray that if our business will recover, we promise that we'll do a much better next time.
    4. Depression - Common symptoms of depression are insomnia, tiredness and fatigue, lack of focus and wanting to be alone and refusing help from everyone.
    5. Acceptance - This is the stage of loss that we want to get to as soon as possible because once we accept our loss, we can already move on.
     
  2. Fergal

    Fergal
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Premium Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,575
    Likes Received:
    1,165
    I would presume that acceptance includes acceptance of responsibility, in your example above?

    I've heard these stages used to describe the process people go through when they are told they are dying.
     
  3. Nazreen

    Nazreen
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,727
    Likes Received:
    40
    Yes Fergal. Acceptance should include acceptance of responsibility. If there's no acceptance of responsibility then we're still in the Denial or Anger stages where we're still blaming others.

    It should be noted too that people don't go from Denial to Acceptance stages in a straight-forward manner. Sometimes people get stuck on two stages and find it hard to move to the next stage. A person, for example, might go from Denial to Anger and then back to Denial again.
     
  4. scifi

    scifi
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,207
    Likes Received:
    44
    "Anger make the things & situation worst more than they actually seems to be!!!"
    This is the quote came to my mind while reading this thread.
    Anger distracts one from focusing on solution to the problem rather creates new ways to blame others to create new problems.
    Anger also leads to often wrong decisions which would not had been taken if one would have reacted cool & with patience while dealing with the situation.
    So one should always try to control anger because anger often lefts with terrible feeling of guilty in the end.!!!
     
  5. Kay

    Kay
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    21
    Interesting, Nazreen. Relating that to the employment side of business, I think it's very hard for anyone to get past the first two stages quickly if for example they've lost their job through no fault of their own because the factory closed. They're the ones likely to continue to bounce back and forth like you say between Denial and Anger and back again for a long time because what happened was beyond their control.
     
  6. Fergal

    Fergal
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Premium Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,575
    Likes Received:
    1,165
    Unfortunately people will lose their jobs for reasons outside of their control and I do feel sorry for them for that. But they do need to move along the five stages and accept their situation and take 100% responsibility for moving themselves forward. It is pointless being angry or blaming others, as Scifi said it will make things more difficult.

    Anyone who feels that their job or even their industry is at risk and is worried that they might lose their job in a few months should be spending their free time educating themselves or building a second source of income.
     
  7. Nazreen

    Nazreen
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,727
    Likes Received:
    40
    I think that losing jobs is much more difficult especially if you have someone depending on you. The pressure would be greater because you have several mouths to feed and kids to put through school. But hopefully with this added pressure, you'll be more motivated and forced to accept your loss in one way or another.

    It's really not anyone's fault. It's not the company's fault, it's not the boss' fault but some of it maybe his especially if you and him don't get along, and it's especially not your fault. In these situations, it would just be good to blame it on the circumstances which involves the current slowdown of our economy.
     
  8. Fergal

    Fergal
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Premium Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,575
    Likes Received:
    1,165
    I feel very sorry for everyone who is losing their jobs. This is a particularly difficult time, due to the fact that it is very difficult to get a job at the moment. It is a global phenomenon and is not the fault of any single individual, they don't have control over it.

    Blaming it on the circumstances is a good strategy if it works for the individual and helps them get on with moving their life forward. Personally I'd take a broader view of my responsibilities and blame myself. Blame myself for not educating myself enough financially, for not saving enough during the good times and for not establishing an alternative income stream through a part time business.
     
  9. scifi

    scifi
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,207
    Likes Received:
    44
    As it is said that "Hope for best & prepare for the worst"
     
  10. Fergal

    Fergal
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Premium Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,575
    Likes Received:
    1,165
    and take what's coming to you.
     
  11. Nazreen

    Nazreen
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,727
    Likes Received:
    40
    Or as motivational speaker Zig Ziglar puts it, "It does not matter what happens to you, it is how you respond that matters".

    But how will you respond when you lose your job especially if it's your only source of income? I think that there will already be signs that companies are going to cut jobs or downsize. By knowing these and being prepared for the worst, we'll be able to respond better.

    Some Warning Signs that companies are downsizing.
    • Company is stopping hiring of new staff.
    • Company is freezing or halting planned projects and expansions.
    • A merger recently occurred or reorganization in the company which results in two or more people for each position.
    • The company's stock is on the decline.

    If you see these warning signs in your company, I think that you should work harder and more efficiently than ever before. Hopefully, will give you some added points on your value to the company.
     
  12. Fergal

    Fergal
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Premium Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,575
    Likes Received:
    1,165
    They are good warning signs Nazreen, thanks for sharing them.

    You should also be wary, even if you don't see these warning signs. Some companies may be experiencing problems that the owner / manager is not aware of, acknowledging or dealing with.
     
  13. Kay

    Kay
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    21
    Ain't that the truth. When the company I worked for had redundancies they were completely out of the blue to everyone except the very top level management.


    Those are good red flags to watch for, definitely. Thanks, Nazreen. Starting to work hard now doesn't always count for much, but it's better than doing nothing. Employers usually have the measure of you within a fairly short space of time.

    And working hard doesn't always save you either if you're one of the newest employees in the door even if you've done so from day one unfortunately. We can but try.
     
  14. Nazreen

    Nazreen
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,727
    Likes Received:
    40
    I think I forgot about one of the best warning signs to know if your company is downsizing - it's Rumors. Even before there was any news of Citibank cutting jobs, there were already a lot of rumors going around the bank about this. Just goes to show that rumors aren't all that bad.

    If you feel that working your butt off isn't enough, maybe you can also try sucking up. It's time to greet all your bosses when you come to the office and it's also time to speak up in meetings to let people know that you exist. :)
     
  15. Fergal

    Fergal
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Premium Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,575
    Likes Received:
    1,165
    The strange thing about rumors is that they can act as self-fulfilling prophecies. I spoke to a Citi employee the other day and he claims that the original rumors were not true, but they resulted in panic selling and caused enormous damage to their share price.

    To be honest I find it just a little difficult to buy that, but in these nervous times for the stock market, who knows!
     
  16. scifi

    scifi
    uix_expand uix_collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,207
    Likes Received:
    44
    one more important yet powerful warning sign that one can use for own benefit is Grapevine, which has an essence of rumors as described by Nazreen yet equally reliable in most cases for most of the internal information . It can give you warning sign much ahead with clear indications about such activities as job cuts etc.
    Companies also often used it as a tool to increase the productivity of employees by promoting some amount of grapevine so as to reduce the work load pressure & also to avoid creating the situations in which employees spread rumors to fill the gap left by a lack of formal communication.....
     

Share This Page