Turn the negative into positive

[Nazreen]

While working with kids here in school, a good advice was given by our Associate Head. This advice is to "Turn the negative into positive". When you see that a boy who's being naughty and misbehaving in class and tell him "John, be quiet and behave yourself" or "John, seat properly", normally they will not listen to you or if they do, they will do it again in a couple of minutes. But if you said something like, "Wow! Look at Mary, she's well behaved in class." or "Wow! Look at how Mary is sitting, she's got a good posture." This will have a great impact in the class and they would also behave properly and sit up straight.

This advice doesn't just apply to kids but also adults. If we reward good work or give a word of praise for a job well done, others in our business will also follow suit and do a good job.

[Fergal]

I once heard that positive reinforcement of desired behaviour is much more effective than negative reinforcement of undesired behaviour. The example you give Nazreen is an excellent demonstration of this.

Positive reinforcement is an often underused management tool.

[prettysue]

This is a great tip for all of us. Usually, I always "don't" do this and that. The word itself is negative and it is not a good way of motivating others and especially children. They will only be scared of you.

Let us put in mind always that positive creates a confidence in a person and thus making him feel better.

[deepak_sharma]

well this is a very important point raised by Nazreen. this is what reversal technique is all about. This technique is used in boosting your creativity technique.

[Fergal]

..if you said something like, "Wow! Look at Mary, she's well behaved in class." ...

When adopting this kind of motivational practice it would be important not to leave anyone out or to give anyone more praise than others. Recognition of performance is one of the greatest motivators.

[Arpeggio]

I believe that the huge power of negative thinking or negative feelings could be
usefull.....????:confused: This is true!!! but i'm not recommended you all to be like me...

[Fergal]

I believe that the huge power of negative thinking or negative feelings could be usefull.....????...

Can you please explain what you mean by that, don't get me wrong I'm not disagreeing with you, I just don't fully understand your point?

I've no doubt that negative feelings can be a motivator for some people, but I know that where possible, I'd prefer be without them.

[deepak_sharma]

well thats an important point raised by Arpeggio. I also want you to stress a little bit more on that.Thanks..

[Nazreen]

Yes, negative thinking and negative feelings can also motivate a person but in most cases, it doesn't. Take for example a smoker who wants to quit smoking. If his relatives and friends just scold him and tell him to stop smoking, more often than not, he would still continue to smoke. Today, "quit smoking" hotlines and organizations advise the friends and relatives to encourage the smoker to quit and warn him of the dangers of smoking. This they say is the best help we can give to aid them in quitting.

[Fergal]

I suppose it's a bit like asking someone not to think about dolphins. They will immediately think of them, even and probably especially if they try not to. When I used to go cycling I'd sometimes see something on the road (e.g. glass) and look at it and try to avoid it. Invariably I'd cycle right over it. I learnt that the only way to avoid something on the road, was to look at the path I was going to take and concentrate on cycling along that.

[jigyasa]

I think adults tend to complicate things in normal lessons like these. Here, instead of taking the appreciation positively, they would usually get jealous and group against the one praised. I say this because I have seen it in practice. Perhaps, a subtle but firm "no" is better than "see how good is he" for adults.

[Nazreen]

I think adults tend to complicate things in normal lessons like these. Here, instead of taking the appreciation positively, they would usually get jealous and group against the one praised. I say this because I have seen it in practice. Perhaps, a subtle but firm "no" is better than "see how good is he" for adults.

Yes I do agree that some people tend to become jealous when someone other than themselves, is praised. People might also group against the one that is praised. But I think that this only happens when there is only one in the group or company that is praised. This would already be favoritism.

In order to be fair, awards and tokens of appreciation should be spread around and not only go to one person. If this happens, jealousy will be minimized in the group or organization and a good working atmosphere is created.

[harmin]

Hello Nazreen.Great tips for both children and adults.I agree with you.Praise or reward is one of the factor that may turns the bad into good.Reward is necessary because if we always do something good and no one praises our work,it is quite depressive for us.Rewards motivated us for doing something great and praises of others also turns our mind towards correction our mistakes.

[Nazreen]

Well, this maybe a bit late but I just got around to watching the movie Hancock and I would say that it's one helluva movie. It's quite funny and at the same time, we can learn some lessons from it. In relation to this thread of turning the negative into positive, the movie also showed Jason Bateman who's acting as a PR consultant, convincing Hancock (Will Smith) into saying "Good Job" to the police at the crime scene. With just these two words, Hancock was able to take his first step in turning the negative perception of the people about him into positive and make them actually like him - even if it's just a little bit. :)